never coming home

A kiss goodbye, your twisted shell.
As rice grains and roses fall at your feet.
I said goodbye a hundred times
and then tomorrow we'll do it again.

Somehow I missed home. My parents gave me an ultimatum : go home right after my exams or stay here and get extra allowance. After a lot of thought, I chose the latter. Then I regretted it; I confused the allowance date with 20th January when it was stated 20th February. What good will I get in February? My semester starts in February, and I just started my holidays now? Besides, if I did chose to go home, it would have been too late to change the dates. Time flies like the airplane in the sky, no? haha...

I envisioned walking around town aimlessly eating Sushi in those transparent plastic containers and drinking from tin cans with straws. God damn this place for not providing straws in supermarkets. Picking up my friends from home and drive around aimlessly figuring out where to go and which road should we take. My small town, Brunei. Whatever should I do for you?
And my family whom I almost forget their existance. Because it pains me to think about my parents who expects so much of me, when I can't do anything more for myself.

So I resort to become high. Any type of high I welcomed. I know my boundaries, I'm not doing anything wrong. What can a girl do when she's bored?

Everything that goes up must come down.
I was up there, and now I'm down.

Say goodbye to the life you made
Walk away from the choices you made